A Moratorium

The inspiration for No Left Turn stemmed from watching the movie Julie & Julia. Like Julie, I was a young woman, discontent with the job I held and yearning to make public my passion and talent for writing. In Julie & Julia, Julie turns to blogging to her quench her thirst. Inspired, I was logged on and started my own blog.

I had no idea, at first, what theme I'd choose to guide my blog. But after attempts to channel my literary antics toward other topics, the undertones of my life kept surging within me, begging to be released. I couldn't ignore the pounding ache I'd awake with each day caused by the withdrawal of my college addiction. For four years, I had rode along the swell of academia, getting high off the fumes of dreams. The blog slowly allowed me to seep into what I thought would be a recovery...

There's a point toward of the end of Julie & Julia where Julie breaks down. The momentum has shifted, and suddenly she had allowed the release of the blog to consume her. Much like Julie, No Left Turn had consumed me. Instead of providing an introspective release, I internalized No Left Turn and the falls along the way became that much more amplified. It was after one considerable emotional breakdown when I realized I'd be 24 in a few months, and I was no closer than I'd been at 23... or 22... that I finally decided to pull the plug on the blog.

I don't plan to stop writing. I've been keeping diaries and journals since I was eight years old. In 5th grade, I raised my hand and announced to my entire class that I was an aspiring author. Writing is a part of me, and that passion could never be eroded. But the outlet has failed to ignite me with positive energy. And so, it is time to take a moratorium.

At the end of L'auberge Espagnole (one the BEST movies I've ever seen), Xavier realizes that he is not defined by only one part of his life- not his job, not where he lives, how he looks, dresses- he is defined by his journey in life. And even as a man, he still is the little boy who dreamed of writing books.

“When you are moving toward an objective...it is very important to pay attention to the road. It is the road that teaches us the best way to get there, and the road enriches us as we walk its length.”

– Paulo Coelho’s The Pilgrimage