Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Qué será será

What ever will be, will be.
The future is not ours to see.
Qué será, será.

I loved this song when I was a little girl. My family owned a radio station for three generations, so we hosted an extensive collection of various vinyl records from years past. I used to pillage through the stacks of records, dig through the cedar closet for a dress up gown and twirl around my basement to the static of the song as the record player ambled along. Though I often would audition a new record or two, I'd always return to the romantic cadence of this one.

I have always wanted to plan out and know the future. I like to feel a sense of preparation, and to anticipate the forthcoming events. Allowing things to evolve as fate should have them, and accept that I might not be able to predict the course of events provokes a feeling of vulnerability. But as my nineteen year old sister reminded me, "You can plan a pretty picnic, but you can't predict the weather."

Two weeks ago, I sat next to a French ex-patriot on a routine flight to San Diego. After the initial indulgence of casual niceties, we breached the PC divide between casual small talk and we began to drill deep into the core of our political beliefs, our dreams and philosophies on life. Thierry trumped me by about 30-40 years, so his outlook on life carried years of tethered experience. Though I found Thierry to be undeniably fascinating, there was one line that shook me inside and reverberated through me:

Life isn't always champagne. Sometimes it is just flat wine.
I have had some glamorous, sparkling moments in my life where I fizzled and popped inside with excitement. Parts of my life, especially my professional life, have been nothing more than cheap, flat wine. The little girl that used to spin around in vintage gowns and in my cousins hand-me-down tap dance costumes envisioned a life bursting with bubbles and fizzy moments. Even though I wish every moment could be seen through the golden glint of exploding champagne bubbles, I'm learning that finding those special moments in between the flat wine ones makes those minutes or hours even more special.

I'd love to know what will happen next-
will there be rainbows day after day?
will I be pretty?
will I be rich?

but I guess I have to wait to see if I'll swim in champagne, or perhaps tread water for some time more in flat wine.


Jeff said...

You won't be treading in flat wine or swimming in champagne in your future. No, no, no... You will be bursting out of the champagne bottle and flying into the air above everyone else.

ea10is said...

Like I said, you're a "corker!"